RE: Going back into the shadows …
HELLO FROM THE BUNKER!
Due to unprecedented life changes and association with various bad actors, the United States Federal Witness Protection Program has gotten ahold of my personhood starting tomorrow. Of course, the U.S. Marshal I’ve been working with allotted output communication EXCLUSIVELY via the Daily Breakdown newsletter when I slipped her a fiver. Yes, HER! God is a woman.
…
University of Minnesota administration certainly has been keeping themselves busy. Soon, the beloved St. Paul campus dormitory, Bailey Hall, will be canned. Check out campus reporter Roman Ingrassia’s piece on it. Meanwhile, Lizzy Nyoike delivered the scoop on a recent Housing & Residential Life policy that prohibits student employees from doing homework in their downtime on the job. Give our latest opinions column a gander, it’s about transgender women athletes. Football content in the sports aisle, musical theatre and film reviews in A&E, the full 9 yards. Go crazy, go stupid.
Goodbye.
Isabella Morden Wheeldon | Managing editor | [email protected]
Top Story

Bailey Hall to close for the 2026-2027 academic year
by Roman Ingrassia | Attribution | Published Aug. 2, 2026
On July 24, the University of Minnesota announced the closure of Bailey Hall and its dining hall for the 2026-2027 academic year.
The announcement comes after the University received $75 million in a bonding bill from the state, $35 million of which is dedicated to the construction of the new St. Paul Campus Center.
The new center is planned to replace both the Magrath Library and the current student center. In an August 2 statement, the University said the closure of Bailey Hall was a necessary step in the revitalization of the St. Paul campus.
“We remain deeply committed to supporting affected students and employees throughout the transition,” the University said. “While advancing plans for the future St. Paul Campus Center and other investments that will strengthen the student experience and serve Minnesota for generations to come.”
News

New hockey outreach program aims to grow diversity, despite slow start
By Isabel Tifre | Staff reporter
At the Minneapolis Hockey Association’s “Take Back the Ice” children’s skating session on July 25, volunteer coaches skated for an hour while waiting for children to arrive, but they never came.
The session was held at Parade Ice Garden, the association’s home rink. The program is designed for Minneapolis children ages 4 through 9, aimed at first-year skaters interested in learning to play hockey. The marketing for the program was minimal, due to the fear of more children signing up than the program could support, said volunteer coach Anthony Walsh.
“We don’t want to have a broad net cast because there’s only 20 scholarship opportunities,” Walsh said. “We’re not gonna run out of scholarship money with zero kids showing up.”
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Opinion

Opinion: We need to protect transgender women in sports
By Callie Burch | Columnist
In June, the Supreme Court upheld a ruling that allows states to ban transgender women from competing in sports at public schools. The ruling comes after years of right-wing contention surrounding trans athletes competing amongst cisgender peers.
This debate around transgender women athletes reflects a misunderstanding on the part of dissenters and a prejudice against female athletes that is sadly familiar.
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Arts & Entertainment

The one-woman show ‘The Root Beer Lady’ wraps up at The History Theatre
By Ava Gilhoi | Staff reporter
We’ve all seen the haze and heard the news. Currently, there are three major fires spreading through northern Minnesota, including the Little Knife Fire, which has burned 4,598 acres of the Boundary Waters Canoe Area. Just miles away sits the late Dorothy Molter’s cabin on the Isle of Pines, a series of islands bordering Canada.
To remind us of the importance and beauty of the Boundary Waters, the History Theatre in St. Paul brought back “The Root Beer Lady,” a one-woman show written and performed by Kim Schultz and directed by Jess Yates about “the luckiest woman alive,” Dorothy Molter, the last legal non-indigenous resident of the Boundary Waters.
“You know, she’s an icon,” Schultz said. “She’s a Minnesota legend. So many people know about her, and dozens of people come up to me and say how they met her and how great she was.”
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Sports

Returning receivers guide Minnesota’s new look offense
By Logan Reitzner | Staff reporter
The Minnesota Gopher football team added eight new receivers this past spring, leaving senior Javon Tracy and junior Jalen Smith to lead one of the most inexperienced position groups for the Gophers ahead of the 2026 season. It will be up to them to teach the newcomers what they have learned as Gophers.
At the July 22 Gopher football media day, Tracy said he learned that little details are the most important part of a receiver’s game, especially in the Big Ten. Tracy transferred from Miami (Ohio) to Minnesota last season. He had 454 receiving yards and a team-leading six receiving touchdowns for the Gophers.





